To End


I.
the end
makes its bed
in my body

i will be cracked plaster
in the dead of winter
a carbon monoxide heater
this house will not be
your home

II.
insurgent cells 
silent rebellion 
cries red

III.
tar lines my lungs
i always thought
i was too young
twenty-two is deathless

IV.
i pray to a god i do not believe in 
i scrub my sins with sugar soap


V.
i wanted my body 
to be mine for ever
                                                             for ever
seems so far away

VI.
my father warns of hereditary death
as if he is recalling his trip to the grocers
i never tell him to shut up
when he dies he will say: told you so
i will tell him to shut up

VII.
my mothers’ voice is medicine 

VIII.
if you are not sick, 
mentally ill,
a non-citizen,
or poor
you are eligible to purchase universal-ish healthcare

IX.
i look inside 
to touch decay

i never liked modern architecture anyway
with its sterile walls,
sexless floors

X.
to be is to be liminal 
the space between two states of non-space

XI.
my first love,
and my first loves life.
a walk at the merri creek
cigarettes as therapy

everything ends

Ava Nunan is a writer from Naarm (Melbourne), Australia.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ava.ava.ava.a/

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