I wake up to chaos, and fall asleep to spiraling troubled thoughts
Each second is composed of a hundredthousandbillion worries and questions without an answer
When all I truly want is to be the dense pure water
I want it to wash away my blood and transform my bones
I want to be heavy time
steadily pushing forward, so devoted that nothing can budge it
And I want to be the running air
dancing between grasps and swimming through the veins of life
I also want to be lightening
bursting when I feel too, without an explanation
And then I’d like to be the sturdy earth,
who gracefully digests the toxicity around her
just to alchemize its elements
And so then with all this simple, yet orchestrated beauty in the world surrounding me
Why am I still this disgusting fucking mess
that I must clean and care for and pick apart constantly
How do I take my inner light and let it reflect what I see out here,
when I have this thick ass brain and all this heavy skin in the way
Complexity feels like a curse
I guess this is me still learning myself.
Alyssa Rose Franco is a writer from San Diego. She has a passion for artistic things, and is paving the way for her dog Buffy and her baby boy. She writes about those things that one feels deeply but finds difficult to describe.