Now that I am a mother
I wonder
Why my own mother had children
if she was incapable of loving?
Why my father stayed
when he knew his cold demeanor
permeated every room that he filled?
I grew up in a house that was both
silent with apathy
and still with fright
Do you know what it's like to beg to be held?
To not understand why your own parents
cannot see you?
To daydream to escape reality
because the truth is too cruel?
I am now a woman
and I still mourn this loss
I grew up searching for the meaning of love
in any man's arms that took the time
to listen to the torment of my cries
I was always left empty handed
and wounded further than I began
I have loved men who's scars ran deeper
than my own
And wished them to erase the trauma
I inherited from generations beyond
Do you know what it's like
to think you've finally found the answers?
To believe that you'll be loved truly?
To give yourself to someone
only for them to prove you wrong?
Yet even after all this heartache
I still believe in love
Because my heart overflows with it
when I see my children smile
Because I haven't given up on the daydream
of being loved completely
Because there is still room for hope
And no one can ever take that away from me.
Cindy Dominguez's passion for writing blossomed in childhood, poetry being her favorite means of expression. As an unapologetic hopeless romantic, her verses explore the realms of love, loss, and lust. In addition to poetry, Cindy is a lover of live music, museums, & photography.