Pablo, Oscar, and I were walking towards the back of Hollandia Park’s parking lot, and after a few minutes of walking, we noticed a guy standing outside of his car and waving his hand at us. He was a white skater dude not much older than me and Oscar—Oscar and I were 16, and Pablo was 13. I slowly recognized him. “I think that’s the connect,” I said. We walked towards him and then greeted him when we were in talking distance, and after our short greeting with the guy, I gave him his money and he handed me the acid. I ripped 4 tabs of acid and put them on my tongue, and I gave Pablo his two tabs and put the leftover tab away. I don’t remember why, but Oscar didn’t want to take any acid that day. My dealer was caught off guard and he laughed and called his friend over. He said something like, “Yo! This dude just took 4 tabs of acid!” His homie came over and asked if he was for real. I opened my mouth and showed him my tongue and he then looked at Pablo who took his two tabs. They both laughed at Pablo and me. I don’t think they’d seen a kid that young take acid either, but by that time Pablo had done more drugs than most adult druggies I knew, and I’m not justifying it either. It was just how it was back then, because Pablo was always hanging out with his 15-year-old sister’s friends like me and Oscar. The result was Pablo got involved in what we did and none of us had the sense to say otherwise.
After their laugh, we headed back to the skatepark to let the acid kick in. When we got there, I only cruised around the park for a bit before getting off my board and deciding to sit down. Pablo cruised by me on his board as I walked, and I stopped and called him over. He stopped too and got off his board and walked towards me. When he was about 5 feet away from me, I asked him, “You want my extra tab?” He looked at me and said, “I don’t know.” He said he’d think about it. I’m not even sure why I offered it to him. I think I just overestimated his ability to stay sensible while tripping considering he’s been able to in the past. He kept skating and I went to sit down. I can’t remember what Oscar was doing. I think he was smoking, but a few minutes later Pablo came over and asked for the extra tab. I gave it to him, and he stared at it for a bit, but finally he put it on his tongue and sat down. About half an hour passed and I started feeling the acid. The visuals started setting in and I felt a strong euphoria and slight anxiety. I tried cruising on my board again, but it was no use. I couldn’t skate. I sat back down, and I could already tell from Pablo’s face that he was feeling it too. Not long after he was complaining that everything looked kind of weird. He said he was seeing double of everything and that he wanted to go home.
“Let’s just go to the field,” I said.
“No, I want to go home. Call your grandma.” He repeated in one way or another. I convinced him to walk with me and Oscar to the grass field, but he just wanted to leave. He kept asking me to call my grandma and it started to worry me, so as we walked to the field, I called her and told her to pick us up.
“Is she coming?” He kept asking and I kept telling him yes over and over again.
Pablo lived in a gated community at that time, and there were trails and several spots we could sober up at, so leaving the skatepark didn’t seem like the worse idea. Also, I was still tripping so I didn’t have the energy to argue with Pablo too much. Some time passed and all Pablo did was ask me if my grandma was coming, and finally my grandma did come. We all got in her car, and when we got in, my grandma just flat out accused us of being high. I was a druggie at that time, so it wasn’t really a random accusation, but a likely assumption, and she was right. I was high. Plus, Oscar and I always got into trouble together during those days, so if he was with me, I was usually up to no good. Ironically, he was the most blameless at that moment.
My grandma dropped us off at the front gate of the gated community. We went in and walked towards the trails. Pablo was dead set on going home, and I kept telling him he should sober up first and then go home, but he didn’t listen, and I didn’t want to physically stop him since that would make him freak out. We walked past the usual hang out spots. I’d stall and urge him to wait a bit, but he kept moving and I kept following as Oscar kept trying to convince him too. We walked up some stairs and we were down the street from his house, and he looked at me and then asked with a confused look, “Is this the meaning of death?”
When I heard him say that I knew he was gone. He was in a loop and there was no use talking sense to him. I didn’t know what to say other than what I was already telling him, which was to stay, but he got on his skateboard and went home. We didn’t follow him this time. Oscar and I walked back down the trail towards a tunnel that we sometimes chilled at, and it was usually an isolated spot, so it seemed like a good place to go. I sat down by some steps near that tunnel knowing Pablo was going to get caught, and Pablo getting caught on acid by his mom was just a bad situation. I stared at the floor a little surprised. My mind felt clear enough to think despite the visuals still being strong. Then my phone rang. I checked my phone and saw that Cassidy was calling me (Pablo’s sister). I looked at Oscar and then back at the phone, and I put the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” I answered.
Then Cassidy started talking and she was crying. She said that Pablo wouldn’t talk or acknowledge them, that he was acting strange. She then asked me what he was on. I told her he took 3 tabs of acid and then naturally she got pissed off. She said what she needed to say, and we ended the call. I felt like such a piece of shit. Both me and Oscar sat there for a while and talked, and I forget how the next plan was set up, but we dipped to Conway Elementary to go meet up with some homies to drink and smoke. Nearing dusk, Conway was a safe place to drink and smoke without anyone bothering you.
We met up with my buddy Michael and a few other homies. I can’t remember who exactly was there other than Oscar, Michael, and me, but there were others there. They had a big jug of wine, and they were drinking, but I decided not to drink or smoke. I didn’t have it in me. I just kept thinking about what was going on with Pablo. After a few minutes, I got a second phone call from Pablo’s sister. This time she didn’t sound angry. She just sounded scared. She sobbed and told me they had no clue what to do, and I just felt worse and worse after every word she spoke. When that phone call ended, I felt like I had to take responsibility. That’s when I told my homies that I was heading out, that I had to go see what was up with Pablo. Oscar said he’d come with me, so I called my grandma and convinced her to pick us up. I didn’t live too far from Conway, so she got there quickly, like within 15 minutes from when I called her.
When I was in the car, I closed my eyes, and I saw a very clear hallucination that was different from the regular closed eye visuals. It wasn’t the typical patterns on textures or the seeming contraction and expansion of space. It was Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, and it didn’t just kind of look like it, it was obviously the Vitruvian Man, and it was spinning on an axis. Behind was an overlay of what seemed to be congress making some sort of decision. The congress thing felt sinister, but I didn’t know why. When I opened my eyes, I started feeling not just sober, but hyper-clearheaded despite still seeing strong visuals. I closed my eyes after that a few times just to make sure I hadn’t fully sobered up, but I still saw that Vitruvian Man vividly.
