Twenty Two

So this is 22 — crossword puzzles and a Hy-Vee birthday cake. It’s arcade games with your best friends, mediocre pizza, and overpriced lip gloss. It’s finally spending time with your dad — something you need to get better at, but also something he needs to get better at — and presents from your sober mom. It’s happiness, then ends with sadness — not because you’re growing up, but because your best friend lives in a different state and you wish you could talk to her. It’s posting a picture to social media and obsessing over how many likes you get. You don’t really like the pictures, but you love your outfit and the way your body looked that day, but no one else seems to be noticing and so you're tempted to delete it. It’s finally not feeling jealous of a friend for being so beautiful and looking so great, but then coming home and undressing while she is just going out and realizing that you are in bed all alone despite the joy the events of today had brought you. I don’t know what I’m really getting at here, nor do I really know what I’m writing, but I started out happy this birthday but now I feel sad. It feels selfish. But I think that’s simply just growing up. 

Marriah Tate is a writer from Iowa, and you can find more of her writing on Instagram: @justsomemoreprose.