The Theory of Motion During Psychosis

i • you will remember  

none of it,  

except the parallels:  

the voice  

you’ve always called your own  

and the stranger  

trying very hard to prove  

it’s the only entity  

that shall take up space,  

inside your mind  

and the outside, 

of everything you’ve forgotten, 

remains. 

ii • there’s not much at rest.  

you are a calamity stuck  

between nonexistence  

and a human embrace.  

but you can barely recognise  

the strings around your neck  

attached to those 

afraid of letting you go.  

they are sincerely hoping 

you would come back  

and hold them  

like you know  

it’s not them,  

but you,  

who need it the most. 

iii • suddenly, you’re amnesiac. 

you constantly ask  

when will tomorrow come,  

until someone tells you,  

it won’t.  

and you don’t know  

how to handle that,  

but you keep on forgetting,  

only to ask again. 

iv• the multiverse starts to sound  

like an option.  

the lines of where you begin 

blur to accommodate  

where you end:  

you’re everywhere,  

but alone.  

v• now you often cry, 

the stranger has decided  

it wants nothing to do with you.  

you complain to the outside,  

wishing you were dead,  

but you think no one heard.  

you’re still very alone.  

vi. you’re losing yourself,  

you question what parts of you  

are strange,  

but you can’t tell.  

as if you were never   

a presence to begin with.  

only intermediary,  

a collective thought,  

of someone else.  

someone you don’t know.  

vii • you sense an intervening.  

a cosmic pull,  

trying to shake you out  

of your timeless reverie. 

everything is spinning,  

but there’s a silent thought:  

an offering 

from someone  

you still don’t know.  

then it begins.  

and you finally wonder,  

who am I?  

You can find more of Adeena Mansoor’s writing on her Instagram.